tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19909457295230468942024-02-06T23:28:46.748-08:00The un-official marriage of Harris and NatalieUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-85217532304729145472015-06-26T10:51:00.000-07:002015-06-26T10:51:26.077-07:00DoneSupreme Court.<br />
Today.<br />
5-4<br />
<br />
It is so ordered.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #232323; font-family: ProximaNovaRegular, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.159999996423721px; line-height: 24px;">"No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization's oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right."</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-22614228377868913712014-10-12T20:08:00.000-07:002014-10-12T20:08:10.684-07:00We did !!Judge Cogburn ruled Friday night overturning Amendment 1! <br />
<br />
Harris and I, accompanied by our *TWO* daughters went to Wake County, got a marriage license, drove back to Durham County and were married by the magistrate. <br />
<br />
So the day it was legal in North Carolina - yep - we went to the courthouse... just like we said we would. <br />
<br />
More details to come over at our new blog - AHavenForDerelicts.BlogSpot.com<br />
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-21211998767493514522014-05-20T16:13:00.000-07:002014-05-20T16:13:09.003-07:00When the 4th circuit rules?What will we do? <br />
<br />
My assumption based on the way this has played out in other states is that there will be a short window of time in North Carolina where marriage is equal for everyone. Then, a judge somewhere will issue a stay after an appeal or notice of appeal is filed. <br />
<br />
Harris and I have been talking about what we'll do? Do we get married during the short first window? Do we wait until it's fully decided and truly equal for everyone forever? <br />
<br />Right now we feel like we wait until the final nail has been nailed and full equality is guaranteed in NC. We have the protections in place we feel we need and getting legally married at this point wouldn't dramatically alter our lives. If it happened before mid-September it would mean one child is legally a bastard and the other legitimate otherwise... nothing different. <br />
<br />
We're not opposed to getting married. It would make some aspects of our lives much more simple indeed, it's just, that at this point we've been doing this for six and a half years. Another six months or year waiting for the definitive ruling or non-ruling from the Supreme Court shouldn't make much difference in our lives. <br />
<br />
The more people who speak out about inequality the sooner it will change. The more who give up an unfair privilege and call it thusly, the sooner we'll see the eradication of that inequality. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-7276632083569810412013-06-26T08:25:00.002-07:002013-06-26T08:25:30.317-07:00DOMA is struck downI was hoping for a broad ruling in Prop 8 / Perry but instead the justices said they didn't have standing. <br />
So happy for couples in CA. Now continues the work to make marriage legal in my state of North Carolina. <br />
Still, staying positive that DOMA is gone. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-7602980647183963342013-06-13T06:27:00.002-07:002013-06-13T06:27:39.630-07:00Mondays keep comingI keep waiting for the Supreme Court ruling. It's Thursday, so could come today, but also know that it will probably be the last thing they comment on this term. <br />
<br />
I'm hoping that it's broad, sweeping, and legalizes marriage across the country. I fear that it will be limited, an overturn of DOMA, with discrimination 'left to the states'. <br />
<br />
If it's broad, sweeping, and right, we'll be down getting blood tests that day and applying for our marriage license. If it's not, well, we'll keep on here, doing what we're doing, for the same reasons as when we started it. <br />
<br />
<br />
It's not fair that others are denied a right we have. <br />
A piece of paper does not a strong relationship make. <br />
If folks with status and privilege give up that status and privilege, others will take notice and ask questions. <br />
<br />
As a couple we've gotten through the second and third. Now, just waiting for the first. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-33666215106610837442010-03-09T11:48:00.000-08:002010-03-09T11:49:09.360-08:00DCHi my District of Columbia,<br /><br />We're so glad you're on board!<br /><br />(Peeps to Maryland too for recognizing the things we do)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-10018795716769761392009-08-18T08:13:00.000-07:002009-08-18T08:17:52.940-07:00Go Durham!Last night, Harris, Madeline and I sat at City Hall for 2.5 hours to see the council vote 7-0 in support of a resolution calling for civil marriage in North Carolina.<br /><br />We're really happy we call Durham home.<br /><br />A RESOLUTION IN SUPPORT OF CIVIL MARRIAGE FOR SAME-SEX COUPLES<br /><br />WHEREAS, The Election Day victories by anti-gay activists in California, Florida, Arizona and Arkansas were a painful reminder that the gay rights movement still faces many challenges; and<br />WHEREAS, discriminatory marriage laws in the United States deprive same-sex couples of over 1000 federal rights and benefits automatically bestowed by civil marriage including, among others, health care coverage, tax benefits, divorce, domestic violence protections, privileges under immigration and naturalization law, inheritance rights, survivor benefits and child custody; and<br /><br />WHEREAS, the denial of such benefits has been demonstrated to have significant psychological and social impact on the physical, social, and economic well-being of gay and lesbian couples and their families; and<br /><br />WHEREAS, the U.S. Supreme Court recognizes marriage as one of the basic civil rights fundamental to our very existence and survival and<br /><br />WHEREAS, heterosexual relationships have a legal framework for their existence through civil marriage, which provides a stabilizing force. In the United States, with the exception of Massachusetts and Connecticut, same-sex couples are currently denied the important legal benefits, rights and responsibilities of civil marriage. Same-sex couples therefore experience several kinds of state sanctioned discrimination that can adversely affect the stability of their relationships and their mental health; and'<br /><br />WHEREAS, the love that brings and binds two people of the same, or opposite sex, together transcends gender; and<br /><br />WHEREAS, as Americans, we must remember a foundational principle of our form of government: all are created equal. Consistent with the pursuit of liberty and justice for all, same-sex couples should have full and equal access to the rights and responsibilities bestowed by civil marriage; and<br /><br />NOW THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED that civil marriage for same-sex couples must include all the benefits commonly bestowed upon opposite-sex couples, including, among other rights, healthcare coverage and related decision-making, privileges under immigration and naturalization law, survivor benefits, inheritance rights, and child custody.<br /><br />BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that the City of Durham, endorse and support the rights of same-sex couples to share fully and equally in the rights, responsibilities and commitments of civil marriage.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-41962472052137437052009-08-17T06:00:00.001-07:002009-08-17T06:03:01.711-07:00Crossing fingers for DurhamWe live in a progressive town and while we complain about the shenanigans, we are generally happy with where we live.<br /><br />Tonight our city council is voting to support civil marriage equality. They have the chance to do something really cool. Letters dispatched, emails forwarded, and tonight Madeline gets to attend her first city council meeting.<br /><br />One day we will have marriage equality. It's fast coming folks!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-41521022655705355852009-05-06T10:34:00.000-07:002009-05-06T10:36:11.975-07:00Well lookie there!Harris: Gov. John Baldacci signed the legislation shortly after the Maine legislature passed it, making state the fifth to allow same-sex couples to wed.<br /><br /><br />Hi Maine!!!<br /><br />We love you too! Welcome to the coolest bunch of states and districts in America! We hope your club won't be quite so exclusive for very long.<br /><br />Hearts!<br /><br />Natalie + Harris + MadelineUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-55180954757458187892009-05-05T13:30:00.001-07:002009-05-05T13:32:39.493-07:00Ohai!Hey Washngton DC- <div><br /></div><div>We love you. Keep up the good work. </div><div><br /></div><div>We're happy that you're on board. </div><div><br /></div><div>Love! </div><div><br /></div><div>Natalie + Harris + The Munch</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-51149447592179941912009-03-10T20:34:00.000-07:002009-03-10T21:12:59.644-07:00Logistics of registering a baby<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYtTuOiYu4M5ximHddCmrKsvtEM-9bHzSHRHB1LM9y7QoEveHVTtexSpd8Jy3aevvsUSXhV5ynE1unGPflCvSB5U32qC33i8mZflSFeHQ3jg-rPddBt6-hLRRx9zM08luND7Es9MP7m0mZ/s1600-h/Happy+Mommy,+Sleeping+Baby.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYtTuOiYu4M5ximHddCmrKsvtEM-9bHzSHRHB1LM9y7QoEveHVTtexSpd8Jy3aevvsUSXhV5ynE1unGPflCvSB5U32qC33i8mZflSFeHQ3jg-rPddBt6-hLRRx9zM08luND7Es9MP7m0mZ/s200/Happy+Mommy,+Sleeping+Baby.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311778355580375794" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /><br />Every year I grow a lit<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">tle less homesick for Atlanta and fall in love with my new home a little more. 7.5 years in to living in North Carolina and I find myself really loving Durham, really loving my neighborhood, really loving just a lot of things. </span></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';">Except the quaint little section of the North Carolina statutes that makes our daughter illegitimate. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'times new roman';"><div class="Section1"><p class="aArticle" style="margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-left: 0in; text-align: center; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Chapter 49: Bastardy</span></p><p class="aArticle" style="text-align: left;margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-left: 0in; font-family:'Times New Roman';font-size:13pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I did get a sick little pleasure out of the thought that Madeline would single </span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">handed</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> raise the statistics for bastard girls born in Durham. Nice income, full prenatal care, a momma with a M.A. who didn't smoke or drink while pregnant and a poppa with a B.S. and she was illegitimate!! But I forgot that her being born at the Women's Birth and Wellness Center in Chapel Hill meant that her birth was registered in Orange County, not Durham County. Now forever her passport will read Chapel Hill, NC, USA. </span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpAVGMaebw_IiQxbNjoC76hM8kpTJxI6ZgIdegLea5YqH-vdY5Rzejw3nFFBRgzhZYF1nK1H7Oazx5T2Zhev3D7ATie4grLfKz6t_01T0_83JTmcDPKPc7CKb9UIqBXY0K30HgnMY9hAAB/s1600-h/Harris+is+too+cool+with+Madeline.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpAVGMaebw_IiQxbNjoC76hM8kpTJxI6ZgIdegLea5YqH-vdY5Rzejw3nFFBRgzhZYF1nK1H7Oazx5T2Zhev3D7ATie4grLfKz6t_01T0_83JTmcDPKPc7CKb9UIqBXY0K30HgnMY9hAAB/s320/Harris+is+too+cool+with+Madeline.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311777495263142962" /></a><br />Sorry lovey. </p><p class="aArticle" style="text-align: left;margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-left: 0in; font-size: 13pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; "><br /></p><p class="aArticle" style="text-align: left;margin-top: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-left: 0in; font-size: 13pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; ">I have to find the affidavit that Harris had to fill out- in triplicate in front of witnesses- to state that he was indeed claiming paternity over our little mite. </p></div></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-31492081603492161712009-02-23T11:40:00.001-08:002009-02-23T11:52:54.351-08:00New life<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdgUhixkGWZ7clyzo2Ge9WiBgniXxerlPHzo4pr42HfoRqNr9-6xFfdqMjEFJaRVvJdk5UYFfMp2hXEOSz6ZMDxZwrrmEKS5_TBUOEm94d1Vf1S1ioiXqqhSWUwN6XpX6TbFmhL4sx1RUt/s1600-h/IMG_0110.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdgUhixkGWZ7clyzo2Ge9WiBgniXxerlPHzo4pr42HfoRqNr9-6xFfdqMjEFJaRVvJdk5UYFfMp2hXEOSz6ZMDxZwrrmEKS5_TBUOEm94d1Vf1S1ioiXqqhSWUwN6XpX6TbFmhL4sx1RUt/s200/IMG_0110.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5306081474630075554" /></a><br />Harris and I have a wonderful new life together. We've spent the past year working on our house, working on our relationship, and experimenting in genetics. <div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>This tiny little wonderful perfect fat cheeked bebe is our first attempt at genetics. We're pretty happy with the results. </div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-1777523757930987822008-03-13T09:22:00.000-07:002008-03-13T09:31:02.078-07:009 days and countingChecklist<br />1. Power of Attorney<br />2. Health Power of Attorney<br />3. Last will and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">testament</span> (My last testament was not as fulfilling as I thought it would be)<br />4. Joint <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Tenancy</span> with Rights of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Survivorship</span> comes after mortgage switches from construction to normal.<br />5. Nice weather- Mostly cloudy with a 20% chance of showers. High 63. Low 37.<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">6. Pre</span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Nup</span>.<br /></span><br />About #6- Harris and I have told everyone that as soon as LGBT couples can get legally married or <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">committed</span> in the Great State of North Carolina that we will to. This <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">codifies</span> our decision and promise to each other. We will be waiting outside the courthouse on that first morning, waiting to apply for any and all permits, licenses, pacts we need. Marriage Equality will mean that Harris and I get married. Until then, we stay <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">publicly</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">committed</span> to each other.<br /><br />Things we still need to find:<br />Notary<br />Flowers<br />A kitchen SinkUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-47480220563330499912008-02-15T09:27:00.000-08:002008-02-15T10:05:59.048-08:00The Details that followNatalie Spring and J. Harris Carpenter request<br />the pleasure of your company as they celebrate their<br />mutual commitment to each other.<br /><br />Join them Saturday the twenty-second of March Two Thousand Eight<br />Five o'clock in the evening<br />at SEEDS Garden 706 Gilbert St Durham, North Carolina<br /><br />Drinks, Dinner, and Dancing to follow at their new home<br />406 Oakwood Avenue Durham, North CarolinaUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-90269875849751958312007-10-02T15:10:00.001-07:002007-10-02T15:20:15.599-07:00Harris: HomeownerYeah, so it's not exactly related to why Natalie and I aren't getting married, per se, but it does indeed have to do with our future. A shiny, shiny future. Right. So I bought a house. It took a month of scrambling for a different signed piece of paper every day, but I got a mortgage and construction loan on an old house, pretty close to where we live now. It's going to take some work but with the help of a couple of good contractors, Nat and I can do it (well, I can do it. Nat can do all the stuff that I don't want to when she gets back. You know... painting, putting up tile, getting the zombies out of the basement...)<br /><br />And it's not that I'm <em>afraid</em> of zombies, per se. I just don't want to do ALL of the fun things and leave her with only revelling in the coolness of our soon to be bad ass house.<br /><br />I digress. Work will actually commence tomorrow on restoring this somewhat dilapidated behemoth back to its former glory. In the days and weeks to come, there will be fun, fun parties there. Like, let's break the walls that shouldn't be there anymore parties. And let's rip up this awful, dirty, and completely unnecessary carpet parties. Admittedly, I might be dancing with myself at said parties, but hey, as long as I have a positive outlook, right? And the zombies stay in the basement?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-18198528330496712532007-09-02T18:04:00.000-07:002007-09-02T18:14:38.783-07:00And then the traditionsHarris and I have never really been a traditional couple. True you can point to monogomy and engagement as well as an overflowing of love, but the way that we have both approached our relationship has been a bit off the beaten path.<br /><br />We had still planned a ceremony and reception to follow. Because we were following the traditional route on this, we also thought perhaps my parents would as well.<br /><br />Well. They decided to come up to North Carolina to discuss this in person. There's the first hint. Nothing easy is ever discussed in person at a 400 mile distance. Harris and I layed out the plans. We took them to the two sites we had considered for the ceremony and the reception. We had brunch. We were having a lovely time. Harris and I wanted to know the budget and we assumed that my parents wanted to see what we were planning.<br /><br />Assumptions are always bad.<br /><br />Our budget is zero dollars.<br /><br />Because Harris and I will not be legally married, they will not contribute to our ceremony or reception. We explained that we are utterly infatuated with each other. That we will be legally mimicing a marriage, but won't actually be getting married. Still, they are uncomfortable with the idea of expending money for something that is against their religious and political beliefs.<br /><br />Harris was lovely. I could not ask for a better partner in this. He rationally explained to them our position, listened to what they were saying and still maintained that if we were to respect their position they must respect ours. <br /><br />I feel: like my parents are replicating bad family history, that they are being stubborn, that they respect one piece of paper more than the backflips that Harris and I will do to mimic the same protections, and that they truly believe they are more stubborn than I am.<br /><br />We are still having our ceremony. We will still celebrate with all of our friends on the 2nd anniversary of our first date. We stand firm.<br /><br />After all, it was never about having a traditional marriage to begin with.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-55079172685533814202007-08-17T18:58:00.000-07:002007-08-17T19:00:51.176-07:00Why we won't, part deux<div style="direction: ltr;">Well, gentle reader, let me take a bit of time aside from the ongoing<br />"how we met" story to tell you a bit more about why I am not in a rush<br />to get married—not in the eyes of the state or god, at least. Not<br />that we won't continue to give you the delicious and highly caloric<br />sweet story of how we met and eventually got to the dizzy state of<br />goodness that we've reached, but I figured I'd take a selfish moment<br />to say more about what had been brewing in my little tempest of a<br />brain for a while, even before I met Natalie. It's actually much<br />simpler than Nat's reasoning.<br /><br />Not that I disagree with her position that until gay and lesbian<br />couples can get married, we shouldn't either; that reasoning hadn't<br />really crossed my mind until she and I started talking about the<br />subject, and I whole-heartedly agree. But for some time, I had<br />wondered why this was the natural progression of a relationship. You<br />know, first comes flirting, then casual dating and chattering to your<br />friends about the girl, then awkwardly asking to be<br />boyfriend/girlfriend, then falling in love,<br /><br />then marriage.<br /><br />Yeah, that last bit: why? Does the Great State of North Carolina need<br />to let me know that I'm in love? Does some imaginary sky-dweller? A<br />preacher? Would our life together really be that much better or<br />easier if we got a piece of paper saying that we were husband and<br />wife? I've yet to be convinced. We love each other. In celebration<br />of that mutual love and adoration, we'll be having a commitment<br />ceremony sometime in the not-too-distant future. And if that doesn't<br />make your heart twitter and a little tear come to your eye, we'll be<br />having a big-ass reception afterward, so you can at least throw down<br />with us.<br /><br />In closing, patient reader, we're happy and very committed to one<br />another. No signed license needs to convey that to us, nor should it<br />to you.<br /></div><script><!-- D(["mb","\u003cdiv style\u003d\"direction:ltr\"\>\u003cspan class\u003dsg\>\u003cbr /\>\u003cbr /\>--\u003cbr /\>"Everybody\'s dying just to get the disease."\u003cbr /\>\u003c/span\>\u003c/div\>",0] ); D(["ce"]); //--></script><span class="sg"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-13306818167877946632007-06-20T09:17:00.000-07:002007-06-20T09:31:22.880-07:00Why we won'tSo when are you getting married?<br /><br />This past January Harris gave Natalie three lovely rubies and in exchange received a crazy cool Belgian <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">fidget</span> ring. In engagements it seems that once you find out that something will happen, people want to know when. Over and over people asked:<br /><br />When are you getting married?<br /><br />This is a simple yet complex question. We will have a ceremony in March 2008. We are scouting locations in Durham, NC. We want to have a simple and fun party to celebrate. We are looking at rings that will match our very different and very beautiful engagement rings. We are deciding where we will go on our honeymoon and what we will do with our cats during that time.<br /><br />But we are not actually getting married.<br /><br />We started this blog in order both to articulate and clearly express our thoughts about the inequality of marriage legislation today. There is nothing stopping us from getting legally married. What stops us is our shared disgust that homosexuals are still kept from enjoying the benefits the state confers when a straight couple marry.<br /><br />We're only occasionally preachy, and Natalie admittedly more so than Harris, but we can't support an institution that discriminates others. We cannot receive the benefits of the institution while claiming that those same benefits are unfair to others. And we are not powerless. We have the institutional support needed to challenge this form of inequality and that's exactly what we plan to do.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-76672184504210014732007-05-31T11:17:00.000-07:002007-07-12T11:22:21.112-07:00Planning StagesThese are the facts as we have created them.<br /><br />Sometime next spring we will have a sweet little ceremony that Harris is planning somewhere within walking distance of the house. We will then have a throw down party that Natalie is planning. We will also probably have some food from one of the local restaurants with family at some point during the weekend. We're both hoping that our siblings make it into town early enough for a day at the Carnivore Preservation Trust in Chatham County.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-49122446230072722072006-03-11T22:00:00.000-08:002007-07-12T11:25:56.271-07:00How it began<div>March 2006</div><br /><div> </div><br /><div>Harris is working a job he hates at Duke. </div><br /><div>Natalie still enjoys being a corporate sell out. </div><br /><div> </div><br /><div>Harris is living with the ever Fly Brett White</div><br /><div>Natalie still lives alone. She has learned her lesson. </div><br /><div> </div><br /><div>Harris likes to go out sometimes. </div><br /><div>Natalie goes out every Friday and Saturday to work the second floor bar at Ringside. </div><br /><div> </div><br /><div>Busy New Wave night when Natalie sees Harris on the other side of the bar ordering a drink for someone. She thinks to herself, 'I am so much hotter than that chick he is with'</div><br /><div> </div><br /><div>But he's not with that other chick at all. </div><br /><div> </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-29221382913413735892006-03-11T19:40:00.000-08:002007-07-12T20:20:51.989-07:00who's that lady?Ringside. What a world. Of course by this point I'm used to its terrible splendor. But at the time, living with the "ever Fly Brett White" (and he is), we would occasionally go out to The Best Damn Party In Town on that wonderous Saturday night known as 80s night. Not that I have that strong of an affinity to the 80s music, but hey, why not? It beats going to dive bars or other watering holes chock full o' Duke students (and you know who you are, jerks). So there we are at the self-proclaimed Best Damn Party In Town. Brett's girlfriend at the time has a friend in town who I've reluctantly accepted the task of entertaining (read: buying drinks, smiling, laughing at stupid jokes, and distracting her from the fact that her friend is too busy with her boyfriend to pay her much attention). <br /><br />But what?<br /><br />Who is THAT? No. Harris. No. It's cliche to fall for the bartender. You can't--my god she's hot. Sigh. Time go go....<br /><br />Three days later.....<br /><br />Yay for trivia night at the Joyce! Oh well, I lose again. But... who is this captivating woman sitting next to me? Why doe she seem familiar? And what's this? She's talking to me? Blind me! She--she's the bartender! And she likes talking to me? Must deftly insert request for phone number: "oh, my friends are leaving and i need to work in the morning and my house is on fire and my cat is hungry. but i really want to talk to you some more. can we exchange numbers?" Real slick, kiddo. But somehow it worked. We actually, and I'm not kidding, exchanged numbers on matchbooks. I still have mine.<br /><br />to be continued...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-75139645836813981892006-03-11T18:57:00.000-08:002007-07-19T13:35:56.079-07:00And then I botched itBeing a corporate sell out is hard. Sure, the pay is decent, but the hours, the work, and managing several on-going projects takes a toll. Monday's are especially hard, yet I had made plans to meet this kid from The Joyce for a martini at Sirens later that evening. Ok, so I really did want to talk to him too. When we were at The Joyce, he didn't recognize me. I told him what he drinks, that I had served him the previous weekend at Ringside, and that when going out on Tuesdays I don't normally wear a cherry red wig.<br /><br />His eye's show a flicker of recognition.<br /><br />Oh! I thought you were so much more in...<br />Intimidating?<br />Well, I was going to say intense.<br /><br />We made plans for the following Monday night. I got home from work that evening and decided to take a quick nap before going out. A quick nap turns into sleeping on the couch for four hours while the TV blares in the background. I wake up about two hours after I was supposed to meet him at the bar to two missed calls and a voicemail.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-62127410290364937462006-03-10T21:40:00.000-08:002007-08-16T21:47:34.380-07:00If I had any self-respect at all I wouldn't be here. She calls me as I'm walking in my front door, half drunk (well, 3/4 drunk. Ok. drunk.), tail between my legs after being stood up. If not for my kind-hearted and forgiving nature, I would have kind-heartedly told her that I didn't buy her falling-asleep-on-the-couch story, and that nobody stands my ass up.<br /><br />Alas, I forgave her and decided to give her another chance. I mean... she's kinda hot, and it's not like I've got any other plans. Besides, she did offer to buy me dinnerUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-55234379671189320602006-03-10T21:00:00.000-08:002007-08-21T15:30:18.884-07:00you're at bar. I'm at table.I suppose it is good to know that your intended believes you are hot.<br /><br />On the phone that night we made plans to meet at The Fed for dinner. Maybe we would have better luck at Brightleaf than 9th st. I think I went straight from work, stopping at the Quick Stop/Sam's/Blue Light to grab a pack of Nat Sherman's. I walk in, grab an Indy, grab a table, and sit facing the windows. I got there early thinking that this way I wouldn't go home and fall asleep again and that I could spot him as he walked it.<br /><br />I am lost in my own little post-work world of drinking, smoking, and reading the paper when I remember that I am there to meet someone. I look up and it's about fifteen minutes later than I thought. Shit! It's late. Where is he? Wait a minute...<br /><br />That mother *&$%^@<br /><br />He stood me up?!?<br />Who the HELL does he think he is.<br /><br />I mean, I really did fall asleep. What is this, some sort of power play to show that he can stand me up to? What kind of child plans this sort of thing, just say you're not interested. Jesus. Really, this is where I am , dealing with asses with no sense of decency.<br /><br />I am plotting what exactly I will say to him if I happen to run into him later and trying to figure out what my friends are up to this evening when I notice a guy sitting at the bar chain smoking.<br /><br />Oh right, head down and reading the Indy really isn't the best way to recognize people when they enter a dark bar. My anger and disgust fades, I feel a little silly, and send off a text message.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1990945729523046894.post-87038656615586309802006-03-10T20:00:00.000-08:002007-10-18T13:04:37.305-07:00DinnerHarris came over to the table and we made small talk. I can't remember what exactly we talked about, our lives, our mutual dissatisfaction with our jobs, how we ended up in Durham the usual chitter chatter. Then we end up on torch singers. Seems this man sitting across from me thinks he's got better knowledge or connections and can get any song I want. I've played this game before lovey.<br /><br />Kate Smith- Call me irresponsible.<br /><br />Done he says.<br /><br />Kate Smith did indeed record a version of call me irresponsible, however, it was only ever released on LP. To get it, you've got to find the LP or someone who has played the LP into a microphone in their computer. Alternatively you could convince whoever owns the rights to actually put it on a cd instead of the 18 million versions of God Bless America they seem so fascinated with.<br /><br />We'll see if this version ever actually shows up :) I tease him about it still sometimes.<br /><br /><br />We continue in this nice little dance of dinner, drinks, trivia, sundays, and a slow introduction to the mob...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0