We love you. Keep up the good work.
We're happy that you're on board.
Love!
Natalie + Harris + The Munch
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Logistics of registering a baby
Every year I grow a little less homesick for Atlanta and fall in love with my new home a little more. 7.5 years in to living in North Carolina and I find myself really loving Durham, really loving my neighborhood, really loving just a lot of things.
Except the quaint little section of the North Carolina statutes that makes our daughter illegitimate.
Chapter 49: Bastardy
I did get a sick little pleasure out of the thought that Madeline would single handed raise the statistics for bastard girls born in Durham. Nice income, full prenatal care, a momma with a M.A. who didn't smoke or drink while pregnant and a poppa with a B.S. and she was illegitimate!! But I forgot that her being born at the Women's Birth and Wellness Center in Chapel Hill meant that her birth was registered in Orange County, not Durham County. Now forever her passport will read Chapel Hill, NC, USA. 
Sorry lovey.
I have to find the affidavit that Harris had to fill out- in triplicate in front of witnesses- to state that he was indeed claiming paternity over our little mite.
Monday, February 23, 2009
New life
Harris and I have a wonderful new life together. We've spent the past year working on our house, working on our relationship, and experimenting in genetics.
This tiny little wonderful perfect fat cheeked bebe is our first attempt at genetics. We're pretty happy with the results.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
9 days and counting
Checklist
1. Power of Attorney
2. Health Power of Attorney
3. Last will and testament (My last testament was not as fulfilling as I thought it would be)
4. Joint Tenancy with Rights of Survivorship comes after mortgage switches from construction to normal.
5. Nice weather- Mostly cloudy with a 20% chance of showers. High 63. Low 37.
6. Pre-Nup.
About #6- Harris and I have told everyone that as soon as LGBT couples can get legally married or committed in the Great State of North Carolina that we will to. This codifies our decision and promise to each other. We will be waiting outside the courthouse on that first morning, waiting to apply for any and all permits, licenses, pacts we need. Marriage Equality will mean that Harris and I get married. Until then, we stay publicly committed to each other.
Things we still need to find:
Notary
Flowers
A kitchen Sink
1. Power of Attorney
2. Health Power of Attorney
3. Last will and testament (My last testament was not as fulfilling as I thought it would be)
4. Joint Tenancy with Rights of Survivorship comes after mortgage switches from construction to normal.
5. Nice weather- Mostly cloudy with a 20% chance of showers. High 63. Low 37.
6. Pre-Nup.
About #6- Harris and I have told everyone that as soon as LGBT couples can get legally married or committed in the Great State of North Carolina that we will to. This codifies our decision and promise to each other. We will be waiting outside the courthouse on that first morning, waiting to apply for any and all permits, licenses, pacts we need. Marriage Equality will mean that Harris and I get married. Until then, we stay publicly committed to each other.
Things we still need to find:
Notary
Flowers
A kitchen Sink
Friday, February 15, 2008
The Details that follow
Natalie Spring and J. Harris Carpenter request
the pleasure of your company as they celebrate their
mutual commitment to each other.
Join them Saturday the twenty-second of March Two Thousand Eight
Five o'clock in the evening
at SEEDS Garden 706 Gilbert St Durham, North Carolina
Drinks, Dinner, and Dancing to follow at their new home
406 Oakwood Avenue Durham, North Carolina
the pleasure of your company as they celebrate their
mutual commitment to each other.
Join them Saturday the twenty-second of March Two Thousand Eight
Five o'clock in the evening
at SEEDS Garden 706 Gilbert St Durham, North Carolina
Drinks, Dinner, and Dancing to follow at their new home
406 Oakwood Avenue Durham, North Carolina
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Harris: Homeowner
Yeah, so it's not exactly related to why Natalie and I aren't getting married, per se, but it does indeed have to do with our future. A shiny, shiny future. Right. So I bought a house. It took a month of scrambling for a different signed piece of paper every day, but I got a mortgage and construction loan on an old house, pretty close to where we live now. It's going to take some work but with the help of a couple of good contractors, Nat and I can do it (well, I can do it. Nat can do all the stuff that I don't want to when she gets back. You know... painting, putting up tile, getting the zombies out of the basement...)
And it's not that I'm afraid of zombies, per se. I just don't want to do ALL of the fun things and leave her with only revelling in the coolness of our soon to be bad ass house.
I digress. Work will actually commence tomorrow on restoring this somewhat dilapidated behemoth back to its former glory. In the days and weeks to come, there will be fun, fun parties there. Like, let's break the walls that shouldn't be there anymore parties. And let's rip up this awful, dirty, and completely unnecessary carpet parties. Admittedly, I might be dancing with myself at said parties, but hey, as long as I have a positive outlook, right? And the zombies stay in the basement?
And it's not that I'm afraid of zombies, per se. I just don't want to do ALL of the fun things and leave her with only revelling in the coolness of our soon to be bad ass house.
I digress. Work will actually commence tomorrow on restoring this somewhat dilapidated behemoth back to its former glory. In the days and weeks to come, there will be fun, fun parties there. Like, let's break the walls that shouldn't be there anymore parties. And let's rip up this awful, dirty, and completely unnecessary carpet parties. Admittedly, I might be dancing with myself at said parties, but hey, as long as I have a positive outlook, right? And the zombies stay in the basement?
Sunday, September 2, 2007
And then the traditions
Harris and I have never really been a traditional couple. True you can point to monogomy and engagement as well as an overflowing of love, but the way that we have both approached our relationship has been a bit off the beaten path.
We had still planned a ceremony and reception to follow. Because we were following the traditional route on this, we also thought perhaps my parents would as well.
Well. They decided to come up to North Carolina to discuss this in person. There's the first hint. Nothing easy is ever discussed in person at a 400 mile distance. Harris and I layed out the plans. We took them to the two sites we had considered for the ceremony and the reception. We had brunch. We were having a lovely time. Harris and I wanted to know the budget and we assumed that my parents wanted to see what we were planning.
Assumptions are always bad.
Our budget is zero dollars.
Because Harris and I will not be legally married, they will not contribute to our ceremony or reception. We explained that we are utterly infatuated with each other. That we will be legally mimicing a marriage, but won't actually be getting married. Still, they are uncomfortable with the idea of expending money for something that is against their religious and political beliefs.
Harris was lovely. I could not ask for a better partner in this. He rationally explained to them our position, listened to what they were saying and still maintained that if we were to respect their position they must respect ours.
I feel: like my parents are replicating bad family history, that they are being stubborn, that they respect one piece of paper more than the backflips that Harris and I will do to mimic the same protections, and that they truly believe they are more stubborn than I am.
We are still having our ceremony. We will still celebrate with all of our friends on the 2nd anniversary of our first date. We stand firm.
After all, it was never about having a traditional marriage to begin with.
We had still planned a ceremony and reception to follow. Because we were following the traditional route on this, we also thought perhaps my parents would as well.
Well. They decided to come up to North Carolina to discuss this in person. There's the first hint. Nothing easy is ever discussed in person at a 400 mile distance. Harris and I layed out the plans. We took them to the two sites we had considered for the ceremony and the reception. We had brunch. We were having a lovely time. Harris and I wanted to know the budget and we assumed that my parents wanted to see what we were planning.
Assumptions are always bad.
Our budget is zero dollars.
Because Harris and I will not be legally married, they will not contribute to our ceremony or reception. We explained that we are utterly infatuated with each other. That we will be legally mimicing a marriage, but won't actually be getting married. Still, they are uncomfortable with the idea of expending money for something that is against their religious and political beliefs.
Harris was lovely. I could not ask for a better partner in this. He rationally explained to them our position, listened to what they were saying and still maintained that if we were to respect their position they must respect ours.
I feel: like my parents are replicating bad family history, that they are being stubborn, that they respect one piece of paper more than the backflips that Harris and I will do to mimic the same protections, and that they truly believe they are more stubborn than I am.
We are still having our ceremony. We will still celebrate with all of our friends on the 2nd anniversary of our first date. We stand firm.
After all, it was never about having a traditional marriage to begin with.
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