If I had any self-respect at all I wouldn't be here. She calls me as I'm walking in my front door, half drunk (well, 3/4 drunk. Ok. drunk.), tail between my legs after being stood up. If not for my kind-hearted and forgiving nature, I would have kind-heartedly told her that I didn't buy her falling-asleep-on-the-couch story, and that nobody stands my ass up.

Alas, I forgave her and decided to give her another chance. I mean... she's kinda hot, and it's not like I've got any other plans. Besides, she did offer to buy me dinner